The first month has come and gone, and it’s time to review my progress!
When I started going back, as I mentioned, I felt weak. I am still objectively weaker than when I was at my strongest last year, but I no longer feel like my body is fighting me. I am mostly enjoying my gym time.
I had a few days that were terribly difficult for me, where I just couldn’t get my motivation and focus going, but I managed to go anyway and do the work. Those days will come for all of us, and it’s okay to go through a bad day and not even feel good about the workout afterward. You don’t need to always feel great about having had a workout, but you need to take those days and know that the next day will most likely be much better. True enough: When I had bad days, I made sure I went back the very next day, and those sessions almost always feel like some of the best days I have.
Sundays ended up being my busiest days, as I would go to Aerial in the mornings, walk Balrog in the afternoon and then still go to the gym in the evenings. I wasn’t doing this because I felt like I had to, but getting that active start on the day, I was so pumped with energy that I just really wanted to.
Of course, I had my aforementioned bump in the road with my inflammation, which took me out for a full week leading up to the check-in on the 28th. To be extra careful, I skipped a day of Aerial as well. I went to my first-ever Roller Derby training on Tuesday last week, as my arms were feeling better and I figured skating would be less of a problem for my arms, and I had a bloody riot! More on that later, but long story short: I am going to Glasgow to buy kit on Monday.
Aaaand then I went to Aerial again. Near the end of the two-hour session, I started feeling it in my arms again. It’s not full-blown, but it’s clear that I need to give Aerial a rest for a good couple of months as the hanging creates a very bad strain on my ligaments. This is very, very poopy. (yes, I just used that word.) At least I have Roller Derby, though!
Now, on to the numbers and visuals.
Most of the areas where I’m looking for growth have seen little or no change, which is expected. Muscle grows slow, and I’m happy if I can keep a half-cm change in chest, for example, with each month.
The most obvious difference is the waist. The numbers show a 3 cm decline across the beltline, and a smaller decline across the waist (the narrowest part of the torso). I’ve been trying to eat more, which has been difficult as I have had no desire for cooking over the past month (that’s weird for me). I have definitely gained weight and at a reasonably controlled rate to the point where my waist has actually gone down as the rest of me grows. Booyah!
Now, I will be completely honest with you: This makes me very happy. I’ve always been insecure about that little bit of extra fat (which wasn’t always so little) and it always annoys me that even when I’ve been skinny as a rake, I still have that bit of squidge. Mocking me from above my pants. It’s so minor and I’m 100% sure that I’m the only one who cares, but it bugs me.
On a less emotional and more practical level, that’s one of those things that make a difference when it comes to being photogenically fit. For modelling and film work, I’m still too skinny to be considered “athletic” but too squidgy to have that “skinny chic” look. I know. All of this is nitpickery and probably sounds incredibly banal to people struggling with real health issues. I’m lucky that something this small is my bugbear, but I want to share these parts of how I look at myself so you know that insecurities and self-criticism don’t stop when you get fitter. They become more specific, more niggling.
I’m reasonably happy with the way I look. I always have been. I would say I am as happy with the way I look now as I was when I was 18, weighed close to 90 kg (vs 75 kg now) with no muscle at all. I’m sure I will be no more or less happy with my body when I reach my goals. I do feel a change in overall happiness, but that is tied more to the sense of accomplishment than the actual shape of my body. I look forward to cycling through these progress shots in 11 months and seeing a gradual change, because that change is a symbol of my hard work and determination.
This is why it’s important to me to try and bring home the point that the absolute best thing you can do for yourself is to try to be kinder to yourself. You might not be happy with how you look, but try to think positively. Enjoy who you are and what you look like, because if you can’t love your body now, you won’t love your body when you reach your goals, either. So work on loving yourself as much as you work on bettering yourself. Don’t do this for anyone out there, do it for yourself.
YOU DO YOU.
You are enough. You are the best you there is. You are worthy of love, just as you are right in this moment.
Postural notes here so you can refer to the pictures easily.
Front facing picture – right shoulder is anteriorly rotated – there is a line running from the armpit to your collar bone – it’s probably noticeable more if you wear a t-shirt and look for a similar crease. Your hand is hanging to the front of your body. This is also visible in the back facing picture – your right shoulder is lower than the left – it looks longer, slopes more and you can see this impacts on your whole right side. Left side is straighter. Right side is more ( shaped.
Fix – do this in a mirror so you can see the difference or with your back against the wall so you can feel your shoulder blade.
Float right arm up in front of you – arm straight but relaxed – up to level with your ear then take it out to the side (not back) and as you lower it consciously engage your shoulder blade – moving it down your ribs. Your arm should hang down at the side, your arm should feel supported from below by your shoulder blade, not hanging from your traps and the chest should feel more open and lifted.
Repeat to the other side. This is where your shoulders should be. Do this lots – every time you feel you’re getting banana-y.
The front line of your body is short – chest droops, belly out, head pokes forward. Think about a helium balloon attached to your pubic bone, sternum and top of head lifting you up so the front of your pelvis lifts, chest lifts, back of neck is long. Then do your arm rotations. Push your chin in to give yourself a double chin. Your ear should be directly above your shoulder. This will feel weird but it’s where you’re supposed to be. It may take specific massage treatment to correct it but if you can be conscious of where you’re supposed to be and just adjust yourself on a regular basis it will help.
Tight hamstrings are also being affected by your lower back. As the belly goes out the lumbar spine shortens which lifts your pelvis at the back pulling up on the hamstrings so really think about lifting the front of the pelvis to give a neutral pelvis – tailbone down to the floor which brings belly in and lengthens lower back.
Anti-banana – engage abs, pelvis tucked under, chest lifted, shoulders back and down, head lifted not poking forwards.
Lengthening hamstrings – heat and gravity are your friends. Think about doing long duration stretches after you’ve done your workout or class when you are warm, Hang over like a ragdoll in the shower with the hot water on your lower back and let gravity take you down. Feet slightly apart – aim to get your hands flat on the floor in front of your feet.
There’s loads of exercises but that’s probably better face to face.
Your posture is not horrendous – it’s entirely normal for a 21st century spends a lot of time “being forwards” person.
Thank you so much, Janet! I will definitely try these exercises to correct my posture, and when we meet next time we can see how things are going and maybe do some others.
I was a very inactive child and spent more time on my Gameboy than doing physical activity. It’s a bit like today’s phone/ tablet/ computer issues but even worse as the screen is dreadful. I actually went to a physio when I was 13 because of neck problems relating to my posture.
I’m currently doing version of the shower stretch where I go up against the wall and let the wall keep and push me down. I try to hold that for 1 minute or more each time. It’s hard, but I feel better every time I do it.