It’s no secret that one of my goals in life is to gain some form of attention online. At some point when I was a young’un, I saw a film where someone was described as more or less a legend in the interwebs. This struck a chord with me. I wanted to be an internet legend.
However, internet legends are few and far between, unless you go on Youtube’s top subscribed lists and top viewed lists. On those pages, they’re packed together like little boxes of web-famous joy.
What I’m starting to realise, though, is that it’s just not something I’m cut out for. I don’t know anything about programming, and my video fare is just good enough for my friends to enjoy, but not fun enough for them to share with their friends (and for their friends to- You get the idea).
I mean, I get it. I have friends whose stuff I’ll compliment, but would never associate myself with professionally, which in many ways is what you do when you share a video link online. You’re saying “This is something that I like. I’m sharing it with your because I think you’ll like it too.” with the addendum “if you don’t like it, and if I keep linking shit like this to you, you’ll ignore me forever.” There’s nothing WRONG with it, it just took me a while to realise that being good is separate from your friends SAYING it’s good.
So yeah. I have a thousand subscribers on Youtube, which means that a thousand people will be told whenever I upload my videos (Not including suspended or closed accounts). Sounds pretty cool right? Right. Until you take into account that most of my videos flatten out at less than half that.
So, which are the ones I get the most views on? Yup, you guessed it. The more skin, the more views (not counting Animal Attack and Irish Accent, which are videos that survive on search terms) I get. I used to think that was a female thing, but it isn’t. I can still raise my views by 2-3 times simply by taking a shirt off for the thumbnail.
Where am I going with this?
My life will never amount to celebrity status of any kind, and I probably should be happy about that. I’m not witty or incisive enough for people to go “that’s good, I should share that”, and I’m not stupid or crazy enough for people to go “That’s terrible, I should share that!” either. I’m just some sad sack making videos and shit online.
Of course, I can’t forget you, my loyal few. You folks who DO watch my videos and read my posts really deserve my thanks, and my concern. You might have brain damange. ^_^
I’m tired. I want my bed.
EDIT, NEXT MORNING:
Huh, amazing. I wrote this when I was kind of drunk, got up, went to bed and promptly fell asleep… Considering the alcohol and just how tired I was, I did not expect to find this post as close to being coherent as it is, and I certainly expected more typographical errors. Oh well.
Yesterday was a tough day for me, mentally, but I got through it laughing by the end, thanks to Marit. If it hadn’t been for her, I would probably have sat around sulking and shouting abuse at people online for the rest of the evening.